Growing in the Grace of Discernment

Blog Post by Rev. Dr. Isaac Wanyoike
Pastor of Pendo Presbyterian and
BJC Triage Chaplain

The nation of Kenya is a combination of four two tribes all with different dialects.  In each community, there are still cultural and language differences.  Though I and my wife are from the same tribe, we have differences in our pronunciation not to mention cultural differences. Before we got married on April 6^th, 1991, there were a lot of mixed feelings in our families. The assumption from communities across the board is that people from my place of origin love money. The assumption is that women from my wife’s origin beat their husbands. Honestly, I am married for thirty years yet I have never witnessed my wife display signs that she can beat me or express fierce aggression.

I have learned that my initial impulse could be wrong and hence the need to seek God’s wisdom and discernment which rarely comes in the heat of the first moment.

Albeit we could cub our relation speed bumps if we cared to listen to understand other than stressing ourselves with farfetched assumptions and prejudice. Again and again, I must remind myself that I don’t know everything I need to know, hence the wisdom to delay my opinion and judgment at the impulse of the moment. I am more at peace when listening and observing others than diving in with my opinion. (Proverbs 10:19)

Working on self-control is a daily event less I respond before I understand the entire story and do more harm than good.  I cannot say enough how I need to grow in this grace. I really aspire for those words that will give grace to those who hear me speak. I pray that I will respond to everyone with words full of grace, measured, honest, and clear, and where possible with brevity. That is not easy for me because many times my mouth moves faster than my brain. Thirty years ago, I was willing to put my prejudice and assumptions aside, listen to the entire story and then make a lifetime commitment to marry my soul mate Carolyn Wanjiru. That was not “Isaac Wanyoike”, It was God working in me to will and to act to fulfill His good purpose (Philippians 2:13). That’s why I need to constantly be under the tutorship of my Lord  Jesus Christ reminding me that I am not wise in my own eyes ( Proverbs 12:15) and I should resist leaning on my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:6). My relational goal is to complement and complete the other and be less competitive and divisive. This is my daily prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen. (St. Francis of Assisi)

Rev. Dr. Isaac Wanyoike
Pastor of Pendo Presbyterian and
BJC Triage Chaplain